APARTMENTMAN/ RentApartmantSpend FreeWeekendWithMarthaStewart!

Description: APARTMENTMAN/ RentApartmantSpend FreeWeekendWithMarthaStewart! <br /> <br />Heat and hot water are included in the rent. <br /> Sitting by the phone of his day job as a fledging reporter for the Boston Oval, Johnny Boring awaits his next assignment. Suddenly a call comes regarding a breaking story. "Martha Stewart to appear at K Mart In Brighton to promote new line of designer cookware. " In a flash (JB) searches for the nearest phone booth to transform himself into APARTMENTMAN and fly to the gala. Finding no phone booths since they have been discontinued in light of the cell phone age, (JB) decides he will just have to take the bus to the event. Arriving late, (JB) looks at the podium where that mistress of the culinary masses concludes her presentation. As she steps away from the microphone, her director of public relations, Simon Sycophant, arises says a few words at the podium. (Understand this is not an easy job at this time in history.) <br /> He begins, <br /> <br /> "I want to thank you all for being here. It means so much to Martha that you all have come to accept her into your homes as a guide and friend. Many have said unkind things about my boss. That she is an elitist. That she has no concern for every day people. That she merely sponges off of the masses by hawking her wares and prostituting her name in K Mart as a way to fatten her already bloated bank account. I want all of you assembled here to know that all of these accounts of Martha are false. She loves you all. To show just how much we, (Martha and I ) appreciate your loyalty and patronage we are inviting all 300 of you down to spend the weekend with us in her 30 acre $7,000,000,000. home that you all helped pay for. I wanted to surprise Martha and all of you with this announcement today." <br /> <br /> Suddenly from behind Simon comes a blood curdling scream. The words <br /> <br /> 'You're fired," reverberate over the public address system. <br /> <br />Turning his attention to the right (JB) sees Martha Stewart lunge at the podium. The next day the headlines in The Boston Oval reads, " Simon Sycophant Hospitalized Weekend Junket Canceled <br /> <br />DIMENSIONS/ DESCRIPTION OF APARTMENT <br /> As you enter this apartment to the left is the kitchen which measures 9 ft x 6 ft with newly installed wooden cabinets and full sized electric stove and refrigerator. You can fit a small circular table into the kitchen which would I suppose qualify this as an eat in kitchen. (Providing that you invite no more than 1 person over for dinner) The foyer into which you entered measures 6 ft x 4 ft with 1 closet. Straight ahead of the foyer is the living/ bedroom which measures 14 ft x 11 ft with 10 foot ceilings and two windows which face north. There isn't much of a view from the windows but ,heh, at least there are windows. To the left of the living room is the bathroom which measures 7 ft x 4 ft with new vanity and newly tiled walls. One floor to ceiling window gives you a view of the brick wall across the back of the building. (I doubt that the view will inspire rhapsodic musings about the concurrence of nature and civilization but the fresh air may help the Saturday morning hangovers Call ASAP to see.