APARTMENTMAN/ $ 850.00 For A Cup OfCoffeeAnd A NewAptForYou!!

Description: APARTMENTMAN/ $ 850.00 For A Cup OfCoffeeAnd A NewAptForYou!! <br /> <br /> Flying over the local Starbucks Coffee Palace Apartmentman sees a crowd gathering below. TV cameras, and your favorite self absorbed celebrity gather in anticipation A-man decides to investigate. Alighting on a nearby building A-man focuses his telescopic vision and super hearing on the podium below. A hush comes over the crown as the head of marketing for Starbucks mounts the podium. Approaching the microphone he quickly clears his throat, tightens his green and black Starbucks Tie, straightens his green and black Starbucks jacket and puts on his green and black Starbucks reading glasses. (All are designed by Calvin Klein and are available for sale at Starbucks around the country.) Smiling and nodding to the crowd below he begins: <br /> <br /> ' I am so excited to be here. We have waited 15 years for this moment. It is the culmination of a vision I had as an aspiring coffee grower working in the Starbucks coffee fields in Central Columbia for $10.00 a week lo those many years ago. We will be opening, right here on this stage, a '1989 Estate Bottled Grand Cru Double Non- Fat Frappachino. ' <br /> <br />A collective gasp emanates from the crowd.(Can you feel the excitement ?) <br /> <br /> 'Yes, 15 years ago as I poured my first $6.00 cup of coffee, I knew that the demand was there for a Vintage Estate Bottled Coffee for the truly discrimminating palate. I know that the $850.00 cost for a bottle of coffee may concern some, but for the true coffee connoisseur we know that price is no object. The owners of a bottle of Effete 1989 Grand Cru Double Frappachino will be among the elite of our society. Drivers of leased BMW's, and heavily in debt mortgagees of million dollar start up homes everywhere, know that when they invite their neighbors over for a coffee they will be establishing their pedigree when they pop the cork on our Effete 1989. Bottled in our climate controlled estate cellars in Jersey City, New Jersey, we will be setting the standards for coffee brewers everywhere. I see on the roof across the street that A-Man has joined us for this historic moment. Come on over A-Man and be the first to experience the dry, but nutty, fruity and complex berry taste of our proud creation. ' <br /> <br />Leaping into the air, our hero of the homeless alights upon the stage. <br />Immediately the tuxedo wearing coffee sommelier approaches with the coffee opener in hand. With the grace born of countless extractions, the garcon of the gentry removes the cork and hands it to A-Man for a quick sniff . Delicately decanting the nut brown nectar into a Starbucks Cup (also available at local starbucks) he passes the mead of men to A-man. Inspecting the cup, A-Man quaffs the $850.00 stimulant and faces the crowd. Squeezing his hands in anticipation, the head of marketing burst forth with the fateful question into the microphone. <br /> <br />'Well, how is it ? ' <br /> <br />'Tastes like an old shoe.' <br /> <br />Realizing he has overstayed his welcome, and to avoid the bottle hurtling toward his head A-man jets off to review his next apartment. Here it is. <br /> <br /> <br /> DIMENSIONS/ DESCRIPTION OF APARTMENT <br /> <br />This two bedroom is huge. You enter into the foyer which measures 11 feet x 13 feet and right before you is the fireplace. (It doesn't work but you must admit it does add some charm.) The foyer, as well as the rest of the apartment features newly refinished hardwood floors. To the left of the foyer is the living room which measures 20 feet x 14 feet and is framed at the end with bay windows that face south. To the left of the living room is the first bedroom which measures 11.5 feet x 16.5 ft with one closet and windows that make up the entire south wall. To the right of the living room is the second bedroom which measures 12 feet x 16 feet with 1 closet and again windows that make up the entire south wall of the room. (This is obviosly a very sunny apartment!) The bathroom measures 8 feet x 6 feet and features the famous Brookline pink tile. (Just bear with it!) The kitchen measures 18 feet x 12 feet with gas range and dishwasher. Laundry in the basement. Steps from the T (C and D line). Call ASAP to see <br /> <br />Copyright (2003-2010) James V Castelli