APARTMENTMAN/GovernmentDeclares32DegreeIsNotFrozen. HUH !!

Description: APARTMENTMAN/GovernmentDeclares32DegreeIsNotFrozen. HUH !! <br /> <br /> <br /> Rushing home with his so called 'Fresh Turkey ' from that purveyor of holistic produce 'Partial Foods,' Johnny Boring (the alter ego of Apartmentman) savors his upcoming culinary creation. Arriving at his den of domesticity, (JB-Johnny Boring) unwraps the prize poulet to begin his masterpiece of mastication. Reaching his hand into the awaiting cavity (JB) shudders at the discovery. (Relax it isn't anything all that gross.) What does he now find in that cavity where giblets normally reside ?? He finds 'ICE.' 'This cannot be' I was promised, and paid for, a fresh turkey. Grabbing the offending, and sorrowfully deceased young gobbler under his arm, (JB) rushes back to Partial Foods. Believeing there must be a simple mistake, he approaches the manager. <br /> <br />'Excuse me sir, but I ordered a fresh turkey and when I went home I discovered ice in the bird.' <br /> <br />'Many of our birds have ice in them, so what is the problem ?' <br /> <br />'Well, for one thing ice occurs when something is frozen and I wanted and paid for a fresh turkey. ' <br /> <br /> Realizing that other customers are overhearing, the beset manager blurts out 'Why don't we step into my office to discuss this.' <br /> <br />'You can choose another turkey if you like.' <br /> <br />'I already looked at the other turkeys in the case and they all have ice forming around them.' <br /> <br />'I am sure you are right but they are still fresh turkeys.' <br /> <br />'Ice occurs when things freeze.' Things freeze when they are frozen. Frozen things aren't fresh.' <br /> <br />'Well, I can assure you all our turkeys meet the Federal FDA requirements for us to sell them as fresh turkeys. ' <br /> <br /> (JB) suddenly realizes he has been drawn into world of governmental double talk where sex isn't really sex and wars are over despite people being killed, and mandatory means voluntary <br /> <br />'The FDA requirements for fresh turkeys ? What is that exactly? ' <br /> <br />'Well my dear boy the Federal FDA regulations say, among other things, that turkeys stored at 26 degrees and pliable to the touch are fresh turkeys. ' <br /> <br />'But 26 degrees is colder than 32 degrees and 32 degrees is freezing.' If they are frozen they aren't fresh.' <br /> <br />'Well , the Federal Government says 26 degrees isn't freezing and food stored at 26 degrees isn't frozen either, its fresh.' <br /> <br />'So the temperature doesn't matter. If the Federal Government calls it fresh, it's fresh. ' <br /> <br />'Exactly.' <br /> <br />'Did you ever go ice skating when it's 75 degrees outside?' <br /> <br />'Well that's silly you can't make ice in 75 degrees. So, what's your point ?' <br /> <br />'Uh never mind, you want to come look at an apartment with me ?? <br /> <br />'Sure !' <br /> <br />'Here we go ! ' <br /> <br />DIMENSIONS/ DESCRIPTION OF APARTMENT <br /> <br />Just steps from Trader Joe's on Longwood Ave in Coolidge Corner. You enter this studio w/alcove that faces the rear of the building and before you is the foyer which measures 10 ft x 4.5 ft. Straight ahead and to the left is the bathroom which measures 8 ft x 5 ft with a pedestal sink and wood vanity. (The pedestal sink is where you can put your life size statue of Michaelangelo's David.) The ceilings throughout the apt are 9 feet tall so if you have any desire to import palm trees to give your home that tropical feel in the winter there will certainly be enough room for it to grow. Straight ahead of the foyer and to the left is the closet which measures 6 ft deep x 3 ft wide. To the right off of the foyer is the separate sleeping alcove which measures 11 ft x 10 ft with a smaller closet in the alcove which measures 4 ft x 2 ft. The living room, which is off of the alcove, measures measures 14 ft x 12 ft with two windows that let in morning sun. (Since the apt faces east you will get morning sun for the palm trees. ) The kitchen is to the left of the living room and is an eat in kitchen measuring 10 ft x 5 ft with new wood cabinets and 1 window also facing east. (Now remember it is an eat in kitchen for 2 people. However if you are planning a New Years soiree for a dozen or more, you would all probably have to stand up if you still want to use this as an eat in kitchen.) Laundry in the basement.. Near the T (C and D Lines) call ASAP to see. Copyright (2004-2010) (James V Castelli)