APARTMENTMAN/ Free I-Pods, Chariots, And A New home For You !

Description: APARTMENTMAN/ Free I-Pods, Chariots, And A New home For You ! <br /> <br /> Sitting at his desk as a cub reporter for Boston Globe, Johnny Boring is beckoned into the office of Snodgrass Factfindum, the managing editor of the Globe. <br /> <br /> "Johnny, Steve Jobs is in town unveiling the newest creation of his brilliant MAC mind. I want you to cover it and remember no embarassing questions to his eminence Mr. Jobs." <br /> <br /> "Should I kneel when he enters the room?" <br /> <br /> "Kneeling may be a bit much but a slight bowing of the head as he passes would be appropriate." <br /> <br /> "Got it !" <br /> <br /> Dashing from the office, (JB) utters the words that transform him from the socially inept, physically undesireable and intellectually vacuous Johnny Boring into Apartmentman, that illegitimate scion of superhero parents who traded him for a parking space in Brookline 27 years ago . <br /> <br /> "Fee Fi Fo Fum, Apartmentman here I come. " <br /> <br /> (Right now you are dazzled by the poetic subtlety of a mind capable of turning such an original and catchy phrase, but wait it gets better-or maybe not ! ) Anyhow, immediately (JB) is transformed into Apartmentman and jets off at the speed of light to witness Steve Jobs sermon on the mount. <br /> <br /> Arriving at the hall, Apartmentman in a flash transforms himself into (JB) and enters the hall as Steve Jobs is lowered onto the stage in a golden chariot pulled by 6 fierce equines wearing a toga and golden laurel crown. (A bit dramatic but attention getting nonetheless.) Working his way to the front row center position, (JB) listens raptly as Steve Jobs extolls a world where I-Pods now outnumber successful marriages. A world where people can now walk the streets with 5000 I-tunes reverberating in their eardrums and successfully avoid having a conversation with a person sitting next to them. <br />As his eminence winds down his presentation, the prospect of asking a question presents itself to (JB). <br /> <br /> "Mr Jobs, is it true that science is showing millions of people are losing their hearing cuz of the incessant blasting of music in their ears from your <br />I-Pod?" <br /> <br /> Adjusting his hearing aid, his eminence retorts laconically. <br /> <br /> "Huh" <br /> <br /> "Well Mr. Jobs it has been rumored that scientists believe that within 20 years everyone who has been wearing I-Pods will need hearing aids due to the damage caused by the ceaseless reverberations your I-Pods have generated in eardrums everywhere." <br /> <br /> "That's nonsense how could there be any relationship between hearing loss and subsonic musical sound waves bouncing off of eardrums throughout the world?" <br /> <br /> "Well it just seems that rock music pounding on your eardrums throughout your life would have some impact on hearing. Don't you think? " <br /> <br /> "Of course not !! I hate to leave but my steeds are in need of watering and I need to meet Apartmentman to help me find a place to live in Boston near Mass Eye and Ear." <br /> <br /> With that, the golden chariot hurtles skyward as Steve Jobs directs his four footed charges to the office of Apartmentman. (Quite an exit don't you think?) <br /> <br /> (JB) scurries out of the hall rushing to change into (A-Man) to help Steve and you find a new home. Here it is. <br /> <br /> <br />DIMENSIONS/ DESCRIPTION OF APARTMENT <br /> Windows and sunlight throughout the apartment. First floor apartment just steps from PEETs at Harvard Square. Near the intersection of Mt. Auburn and JFK in Cambridge haven from the turmoil of Harvard Square. The eat-in kitchen is to the right of the living room and has beautiful new wood cabinets and a nice gas range for those of you who can cook. Someone somewhere must be able to cook. To the left of the living room is the bedroom which actually does have a beautiful view of the trees that shade the apartment. You can pretend you are Thoreau gazing out at the pond. Steps from Peets and Harvard square the apartment is one of the best deals in Cambridge. <br /> <br />Copyright (2003-2010) James V Castelli <br />