APARTMENTMAN/ Lands Job in Hat Store and The Spirit of Ted Kennedy is First Customer !

Description: <br /> <br /> After sending out 5,000,000,000 resumes detailing his unblemished record of academic achieement at, 'No Job For You U', Johnny Boring decides that the taoist fast he has been following for the last 9 months must end. He needs to eat ! No more stretching one pound containers of organic tofu for 8 meals. No more reveling in the whole earth experience of sharing the world hunger from his Boston studio that costs more than the gross national product of some third world countries. He must find a job, intellectual fulfillment be damned he must fill his belly. Walking along the sartorial splender of the overpriced pathways of Newberry Street he sees in the window a ray of hope. Help wanted !! He dashes in already feeling his belly swell at the prospect of something more solid than frozen chai with yogurt. <br /> After a three hour interview, he manages to convince the owner that his post doctoral studies will qualify him to sell men's hats. Realizing that his $125,000.00 student loan debt has forever cast him in the role of indentured servant he takes to the floor. As he adopts his most self assured posture, a large head makes its way around the corner of the display case. We are not talking an ordinary head, we are talking a large head. Stunned Johnny Boring see the spirit and the head of Teddy Kennedy coming around the corner Having never communicated with a afterlife spirit before a stunned Johnny Boring feels the sweat on the palm of his hands begin to bead up. <br /> <br />'Can I help you sir ? <br /> <br />'Why yes some friends have told me that I would look good in a hat and I thought that I would come in and see how I looked. Can you help me locate the chapeau of my dreams ? ' <br /> <br /> <br />'Flushed, (JB) stammers why yes sir, uhm lets see what size you will need? ' Have you ever worn a hat ? Do you know your size in hats ? ' <br /> <br />'No but Hillary and Bill thought I would look quite fetching in a fedora ? ' Or possibly a beret since I am going to France for a summit on world peace? ' <br /> <br /> <br /> Flummoxed, Johnny Boring goes into the back to get the tape to measure the 'head' of the spirit before him. ' He finds the normal tape measure and realizes he has a problem. All the tapes and normal sized hats will be eclipses by the cranium before him. What to do? Drawing upon his years of creativity honed by his post doctoral efforts (JB ) staples two tape measures together assuming it will be enough to surround the project before him. He measures. He grins. He thinks. No single hat created by human hands will encompass the skull before him. <br /> <br /> 'Uh sir you mentioned a beret, and a fedora. Anything else that you think would become you ? ' <br /> <br /> "Well I was always partial to the look of Winston Churchill in his top hats." <br /> <br /> Suddenly the light in (JB's ) head illuminates. he has the answer. <br /> <br /> 'Uhm, sir, it is the newest fashion from Europe, that men with truly noble heads have taken to wearing three hats at once. There are few men who could wear a beret, a fedora, and a top hat at the same time. However, given the nobility, and magnitude, of your intellectual encasement I believe that you are one of the few men in the world who could carry it off. ' <br /> <br /> Intrigued, Teddy takes the bait. <br /> <br /> 'You really think that I could wear all three at once ? ' <br /> <br /> 'Without a doubt. ' <br /> <br /> 'Let's see.' <br /> <br /> Running gleefully to the back of the store (JB) grabs the largest fedora, beret, top hat and returns. Carefully arranging them on the monument before him, he gasps. <br /> <br /> 'Sir you are a sight.' <br /> <br /> 'You really think so ? ' <br /> <br /> 'Absolutely' <br /> <br /> <br /> 'All Right I will take all 3 hats. I will be back tomorrow to let you know what everyone thinks. ' <br /> <br /> Out goes the spirit of the scion of Joseph Kennedy as (JB) ponders what has happened., (JB) decides that he better take his commission on the three hats and head for a new career. How about helping you find a home ? Better than facing the head with three hats on the next day !! Here we go ! <br /> <br />DIMENSIONS/ DESCRIPTION OF APARTMENT <br />You enter your home of the future and gasp at the decor. (Not really but it was a good beginning) Straight ahead is the living room/ dining room with hardwood floors and bay windows inviting the sunshine into your home and life. (Think of this as a self help coaching seminar) The room measures 17 ft x 16 ft and has classical molding on the windows and ceilings. (Whatever that is) Over the fireplace (that is no longer there but the mantle remains as well as the 2 columns that surround it. ) is a shining built in mirror that will always be staring you in the face as you return from your stupified outings at the local beer joints.) To the left of the mantle is the built in cabinets with leaded glass doors to show off your extensive collection of crystal. (If you do not as of yet have crystal, just take some photos of crystal and paste them in the glass windows/ doors. Nobody will notice if you just do not let them too close.) To the left of the cabinets is your culinary canvass where you will dazzle your guests with your newest rendition of chicken provencal, or if you can't cook just buy a lot of expensive cookbooks with good pictures and invite your guests to peruse the photos over pizza.) Out into the hallway you see the bathroom and to the right is the first of the bedrooms which measures 14 x 16 with a bow window looking out onto the courtyard. To the right of that room is the second bedroom which measures 12 ft x 14 ft and 2 windows. The third bedroom is the smallest so you may have to work out a price adjustment for the 3rd roomate. Or, you can offer that roommate the alcove in the front of the apt as a private office space. Enclosed porch. Steps from the T. Call ASAP to see. <br /> <br />Copyright (2009-2010) James V Castelli